10.37
Yippee! I have spoken to the Minx! I can’t access voicemail outside the UK, which isn’t much use for a UK voicemail service, so I have not heard Minx Messages of Cheer, Delight, Joy & Bliss Arising. But all is well & I am now re-energised by the Voice of the Minx.
E-mail underway in an area where the wi- is sufficiently hi to get online.
There are now 10 committed to tithing.
11.29 Jeff Fayman of Immediate Music has sent the latest mix of Schizoid Man (with Maynard Keenan on vocals) on MP3. This is a Beast.
And from an e-correspondent…
While rummaging through old emails and clearing space on this drive...I discovered this e-mail exchange we had in 2001…
Since then I have moved on to become a reasonably successful Creative Director. I still do compose for some clients but mostly, in the past several years, I have concentrated on recording my own original music for my own purposes. And under my own terms.
Lately, I have found the discipline to quiet myself to the point where I can hear the sounds that once guided my creativity... and my life.
From our original e-letters…
Professional Pal > RF
Date: 12/20/00 4:48:46 PM GMT Standard Time
I am writing this note to you in hopes of purging this emotional and creative "clog" that has manifested itself in the flow of my work (and life). This is pertinent to a situation you have written about extensively, but please do not feel obliged to respond. Allow me to purge and possibly recover (or adjust)? Or you may strike your delete key now and save yourself.
My work here in (Big US City) as a composer for television documentaries and commercials has been rewarding over the many years. But I find myself now effected greatly by the behavior of this industry to the point where I can longer produce the art that is expected of me on a daily basis.
My familiarity with the expectations and subsequent reactions to the craft I produce has now created a situation in which I cannot produce product. Even
my description of this craft has changed to now using that word: product.
Anticipating rejection, unrealistic suggestions and general apathy, all driven by destructive political agenda has successfully blocked my ability to create music that is significant and effective. I feel that I can no longer tap the resources or draw from the well as I have in the past. The motivation is slipping away. The innocence of the creative process is now stained with the anticipation of the negative audient. The stain is deep and opaque.
Last night I sat by the fire in our new home. Light snow drifted delicately through our pond view. I attempted to bath in this beauty and drift to my "creative well" for a long overdue drink. What I found was not desirable, enjoyable or long lasting. Only images of technological devices and tools of the trade came to mind. What synth or effect to use? What known genre to emulate? What prior successful combination to employ? Frustration was eminent and I opened the glass door and threw my favorite pen into the water. Childish. indeed. I came to the conclusion that this was the "new and improved well of creativity" for me. Filled with the refuse of every experience I had collected over the years as a commercial music provider. The echoes of Producers, Directors, Clients and inappropriate contributors all have changed the waters of my well. A seemingly permanent effect of my years in this industry…
RF > Professional Pal
Sent: Wednesday, December 27, 2000 2:54 PM
Subject: Re: Venality is a sympathetic ear.
Thanks for your clear description of the life of the professional musician. This is exact and precise.
In my field, I would add the description of performing in front of continuing cameras and recorders, and the extensive commentary on how those acting in this fashion have the right to do so, even where this is non-consensual; even where their behaviour is utterly without innocence. Plus an endless demand for autography and bowing to the demands which celebrities rightfully bow before - because fans have the right! And then the commentaries on how declining these demands is rude.
The difference between the innocence of a child and that of a master is this: one is a given, the other is assumed. Mastery (please forgive the gender specificity) confers the assumption of innocence within a field of experience. This is exceptionally hard and can only be the outcome of many years of training. In a word, discipline. I don’t claim this for myself, but it is possible to move into this space from time to time.
Whether we persist is largely a result of what we see our work in life as being. Sometimes, the conditions of the world are such that we admit it is not possible for us to continue in the same way. Then, we look at how we may be true to the spirit of our intent, our calling, and accomodate the externalities of our life to approximate to the best fit. Sometimes, we simply head in another direction completely. Sometimes, we take a sabbatical. Sometimes, the work we left returns to claim our attention. Sometimes, we just drop our concerns and eat cake with coffee.
But if we are silent for a while, something may speak to us from where life is really real, and tell us the way to go.
12.14 E-flurrying, a computer frenzy underway.
13.23 The pipes are slow here. Yesterday’s diary took an hour to send.
Now to practising.
18.15 Practising & gentling. The team are rehearsing in the Theatre at 17.00 with soundcheck for 19.00.
00.58 Soundcheck I…
II...
III...
IV...
V...
A strong performance with moments of intensity, with a very different sense to yesterday.
People were still wandering in at 22.00, in the Argentinean fashion. And we were asked to delay our beginning. This we declined – punctuality is our standard – so the opening Soundscapes became walk-in music, which I mucho enjoyed playing.
The please no photography announcement was made at 22.10 by Mr. Geezer, then RF & LCG began again at 22.15. At the end of the performance: flashes while we were standing to acknowledge the audience. This was a pity.
The final Soundscapes: revisiting the Pastorale area with a new approach. It had Biff in tears, he commented afterwards. This is not a new response by audiences to Soundscapes, although it is commonly accompanied by shouted suggestions.
Afterwards, a wonderful supper I…
II…
… provided once again by the Govinda Vegetarian Restaurant of Wonderment, and endorsed by Kabusacki…
01.43 As head approaches the pillow, an astonishingly loud karaoke from the bar, directly below the room, is in fff go-mode. Wifi may not reach here, but the festivities have no out-reach problems.
"The foundation of learning is play."
