The first part of the challenge is simple and exciting. I simply have to adapt to being one of those superbly efficient paragons who achieve more every day than us mere mortals (and there I was thinking I was doing reasonably well already). A new “executive assistant” has appeared in my life, and is “executively assisting”…
The nagging doubt at the back of my mind is “artistic space”. This does not admit of workflows and delegation. It is the ‘inner child” or the “seeing eye”, and has to be lived. Or, expressed in a more practical way, a month ago I was living the fourth Vicar novel. I knew the plot, the characters were alive in my head, I could set pen to paper, enjoy the dance and see where it might lead. And now? Even if I stole the time (always possible), the work would feel like a fraud. It is not currently real in the same way. Or a different, musical perspective. Many of us music lovers, lead our hectic lives and squeeze our cherished music making into the remaining space…and the results rarely are life-changing “Art”. That comes from a different place. It cannot be an afterthought or an add-on. All my life decisions have been based on a refusal to be “squeezed”. I need primarily to be and believe in David, the artist. That is who I am. Those kind souls who attended by talks in the US know that I spoke of the “Power to Believe”, and my notion that the only person who needs to believe in an artist is the artist himself. But, most importantly, that the artist MUST believe. If you don’t, it’s over, other than as a healthy hobby.
And the “inner child” inside feels under attack. But worry not – he’s an obstinate, big-headed, egocentric little bugger and gets his way in the end. And the future feels, well, good.
And now off to a meeting with UMG about the “King Crimson Colour Chart”, a whole different kettle of fish which I shall save for tomorrow.
"We have the right to choose our form of suffering."
